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A Confidential Talk 



With the! 



Boys of America. 



BY 

JOHN M. DICK, 

// 

EVANGELIST 



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DEDICATED 

TO THE BOYS' DEPARTMENTS 

OF THE 



YOUNG MEN'S CHRISTIAN ASSOCIATION. 

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% ** 3 <J92 

3 V66/ X { 

PUBLISHED BY THE AUTHOR, 
1892. • 



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2 5 



COPYRIGHTED, 1892, 

BY JOHN M. DICK. 



My Dear Boy Friend : 

You will doubtless wonder why 
one whom you have never seen addresses 
you as friend. Let me say before speaking to 
you on what I consider to be one of the most 
important subjects of a boy's life, that I want 
you to think of me as your friend, even 
though you have never seen nor heard of me. 
You are a boy over ten (10) years of age, 
and as such I w 7 ant you to listen to me for 
a little time while I tell you some things that 
you ought to know 7 about yourself. 

You perhaps do know at least the impure 
side of the subject of my talk, but I want 



4 A CONFIDKNTlAt TAtK 

that you should know the pure side, and to- 
day I am to tell you about 

SKLF- ABUSE. 

^ i . Its results — (a) On the body ; {b) on 
the mind ; (V) on the soul. 

2. Things you ought not to do in order 
not to be tempted. 

3. Things you can do in order to gain 
strength with which to successfully fight this 
sin. 

4. The best and surest help a boy can 
have in order that he may conquer this habit. 

5. Every boy's duty in regard to self- 
abuse. 

First — I will describe what self-abuse is. 
Perhaps you have never heard this term be- 
fore, but I am sure you have heard other 
terms which mean the same thing, and so to 
be sure that you understand just what I am 
talking about I will speak in boy language. 
Of course you know that when God formed 
your body, he formed each part, as the 
eye, the ear, the hand, etc., to perform a 



- WITH THK BOYS OF AMERICA. 5 

certain work, and no one part was made im- 
pure, but every organ was made to be pure, 
and together all organs of a boy's body 
should form a perfect, pure, clean boy. You 
also know that if you should abuse your eyes 
your sight would become impaired or lost ; or 
if you abuse your teeth they will decay ; or 
if you abuse your ears you will lose your 
power of hearing, now just so true is it that 
if you abuse any other part of your body 
the work for which it was made cannot be 
done ; and even more, the very fact of its 
work not being done will lead to the other 
parts not doing their work, for the body is 
just like a big machine — if any part is left 
out, the whole machine will refuse to work. 
You can, of course, see that this being true, 
it is of great importance that you do not 
abuse any part of your body. When I speak 
of self-abuse I mean what a boy means when 
he speaks of playing with himself, which is 
the playing with that organ which God has 
given every boy in order that the impurities 



6 A CONFIDENTIAL TALK 

taken from the blood may be sent from the 
body in the shape of water, or what we call 
urine. Many boys, instead of keeping this 
organ for that purpose, are handling it with 
other purposes than that for which it was 
made, and if you have learned to do this I 
want to plead with you to stop it at once, and 
if you have not yet learned to do it I want 
you to be on your guard and never yield to 
the temptation. Other boys may try to get 
you to do it, and perhaps some impure man 
may tell you that there is no harm in it, but 
I tell you, Beware of all such persons ! for I 
know of boys whose lives are well nigh 
ruined because of this dreadful habit, and 
many young men of my acquaintance who 
confess to have learned, when boys, to han- 
dle this organ, are to-day pale and sickly, 
with all true ambition gone. 

I think I have made clear to you what 
self-abuse is-. I want now to tell you what 
ITS RESULTS 

are upon the body, mind and soul. 



WITH THK BOYS OF AMKRICA. J 

i. The body is the home of the mind 
and soul, and God's book tells us that our 
bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, 
and so if we are to have our mind and soul 
well housed, and if we are to be good tem- 
ples for God's spirit to dwell in, then we 
must keep our bodies pure. I have said that 
young men of my acquaintance who have 
been committing self- abuse are pale, w T eak 
and sickly. This is a result on the body. 
Physicians have told me that the reason 
so many boys' faces are pale and pimply, 
eyes sunken, teeth poor, appetite lost, and 
they listless and careless about their dress, 
is because they are committing self-abuse. I 
know of a young man who was a member of 
a Young Men's Christian Association with 
which I was connected, whose body was cov- 
ered with sores, and for six months that 
young man was compelled to remain in a 
darkened room, one of the main causes 
being self-abuse. I might mention many cases 
of this kind, resulting from self- abuse, but it 



8 A CONFIDENTIAL TALK 

is only necessary to say that the results of 
self-abuse on a boy's body are such as in 
time to utterly ruin it. Do you wa?it to have 
a strong, well-developed , body ? Then don't 
commit this sin. 

2. Its results upon a boy's mind are ter- 
rible. I was talking to a boy the other 
day, and he told me that he had been 
doing this thing for three years. I wish 
you could have seen him . He was silly and 
half-witted ; none of the boys respected him, 
because he did not have the ordinary com- 
mon sense of a boy of his age, and when 
I told him what the results of the habit 
were upon the mind, the tears came to his 
eyes and he promised to give up the habit 
that he might make a man of himself. How 
many young men and boys become insane 
as a result of this habit, it is hard to say, 
but physicians who have studied the matter 
tell me that many young men are sent to 
the insane asylum each year because of 
their minds giving way as a result of self- 



WITH THE BOYS OF AMERICA. 9 

abuse. Only a few weeks ago I had a physi- 
cian talk to a boys' meeting on "Personal 
Purity," and he spoke very plainly about 
this terrible sin. After the meeting had closed 
one of the older boys went to him and 
asked him if he could meet him for a private 
talk, and at the private talk the boy told 
him that he had been committing self- abuse 
until even at night he could not stop the 
flow of semen* — even though he did not han- 
dle his private parts — and he said that it 



* The semen, spoken of above, is a fluid or liquid 
substance formed from the blood, and is passed out of 
the body through the penis. This does not generally 
pass off until a boy is fourteen or fifteen years of age, 
and then only as a boy abuses himself; but, as a result 
of self-abuse, this fluid will many times pass off 
when a boy is simply thinking of impure things, 
or perhaps dreaming about impure pictures or stories. 
Some boys think that to be able to throw off this 
semen makes men of them, but let me tell you 
that a boy who abuses himself so that semen is smt 
from the body, is but taking a short cut to the ruin 
of his whole being. He is sending off his very life 
and vitality with it. Remember, also, that if there is 
no flow of semen at first, that if you persist in com- 
mitting this sin it will be but a short while before 
the flow will come and you will be unable to stop it. 
In after years, when you become a man, it will be 
natural for the semen to flow at certain times, but 
not in early boyhood days. 



IO A CONFIDENTIAL TALK 

was impossible for him to study, so weak 
and exhausted was he after the night season. 
This is, of course, an extreme case, but it is 
just what may happen to you if you persist 
in committing this sin against your mind. 

3. I now pass to its results upon the 
soul. While I w T as General Secretary of a 
Young Men's Christian Association, a boy — 
a member of the Boys' Department — came 
to me and said : " Mr. Dick, the boys want 
me to run for President, but I don't want 
to ; I can't do it." He was a bright, intelli- 
gent Christian boy, and I rather thought 
that he was just the boy for President, so 
I told him that if the boys wanted him and 
if he had no good reason for not so doing, 
that I thought it was his duty to run. He 
told me that he had a good reason for re- 
fusing, and then with tears in his eyes he 
told me that he was addicted to self-abuse 
and that he could not give it up. I worked 
long with that boy, and tried in every way to 
help him, but he let that sin conquer him, 



WITH THE BOYS OF AMERICA. II 

and his spiritual life left him. He lost all 
interest in the Boys' Department, and I doubt 
not but that to-day he is going toward Satan 
rather than toward God. I tell you, my 
dear boy, that you cannot love and serve 
Jesus Christ if you do not refuse to be im- 
pure. Then, again, the final home of the 
soul is to be heaven, and God's Word tells 
us that no self- abuser* can enter the kingdom 
of God. I am sure that you want to be a 
Christian boy, and that you want to enter 
heaven when you leave this sinful world. 
If so, I plead with you in the words of 
the great Apostle Paul, "Keep thyself pure." f 
Now let me speak to you about a few 
things that boys do that lead them to self-abuse 
and let me warn you to avoid doing them. 
It will be hard work for you to avoid all 
of them, but it is a matter of life and death, 
and to-day I am pleading with you to choose 
life. As a boy you are familiar with the 

* I. Cor. vi : 9. f !• Tim. v : 22. 



12 A CONFIDENTIAL TALK 

low joke and smutty story which are so 
often heard in a company of boys. Did you 
ever think how much easier it is to remem- 
ber these impure jokes and stories than to 
remember your school lessons? Well, it is 
easier, and I tell you, my boy, it is not only 
easy to remember them , but it is hard to 
forget them, and every time you speak an im- 
pure word or hear an impure story you have 
taken one step towards self- abuse, and your 
fight against this habit is made so much the 
harder if you would win. John B. Gough, 
the great temperance lecturer, said that he 
would willingly let his right arm be cleft 
from his shoulder with an axe, if by so 
doing he could forget the impure stories of 
his boyhood days. I warn you, my boy, to 
beware of the impure joke and story. Don't 
tell them. Don't listen to them. Leave the 
man or boy or crowd where they are being 
told. Never laugh at them, should you be 
compelled to hear them, for it is dangerous. 
Then, again, there is the temptation to 



WITH THE BOYS OF AMERICA. 1 3 

every boy to read impure papers and books. 
I call upon you as a boy who wants to be 
saved from this dreadful habit of self-abuse 
and its results to leave entirely alone all 
impure papers and books. You will see 
them, other boys will perhaps give them to 
you to read. Refuse them, for they are the 
devil's messengers of death to the boys who 
read them. 

Again, I want to warn you against the 
impure pictures which, to the shame of our 
country, are almost forced into the eyes of 
our boys. Remember, my boy, that what- 
ever is seen by the eye is flashed by the 
optic nerve to the brain and you cannot 
erase it. No, that impure picture which you 
looked upon is there, and when you would 
be pure that picture is tempting you to be 
impure. I have seen boys crowded together 
looking very intently at pictures, and found 
that they were pictures of half-dressed women. 
My boy, beware, for they are snares of Satan 
to lead the boys of America to the hell of a 



1 4 A CONFIDENTIAL TALK 

lost body, mind and soul. When you see an 
impure picture in a window, on a bill -board, 
or anywhere else, turn from it, for it is dan- 
gerous. 

There is one thing that I want you 
never under any consideration to do : that 
is, never to consult any quack doctor, nor 
indeed any physician who advertises to cure 
self-abuse, for I tell you they cannot do it, 
and even if they could many of them do not 
wish to — they are simply after your money. 
If you are in need of a physician's advice, 
consult your family physician or some upright 
Christian doctor. Many young men and 
boys have been ruined by what is termed 
quack doctors. Never have anything to do 
with them. 

I wish that these few hints might stir 
you to always look upon the low joke and 
smutty story, the impure paper and book, and 
the impure picture as red flags warning you 
that danger is ahead if you do not turn 
from them. Let me give you a test to apply 



WITH THE BOYS OF AMERICA. 1 5 

to all of these things. It is this : Never say, 
read, or look upon anything that you would 
not be willing that your father should hear, 
read, or look upon with you, for remember 
that though you may do these things with- 
out your earthly father's knowledge, yet your 
Heavenly Father sees and knows all you say 
and do. 

I must now pass to 

A FEW SUGGESTIONS 
as to what a boy ca?i do that will prove a 
help to him to give up or to avoid this 
habit of self-abuse. They are things that 
every boy can do. 

1. Be clean. It has been well said that 
" Cleanliness is second only to godliness," 
and I believe that if our boys were more 
careful about the cleanliness of the body 
there would be less temptation to be impure. 
I find that the boys who are always careful 
to keep their teeth clean, and hands and 
face always free from dirt, and body washed 
regularly, and clothes neat and clean, are 



1 6 A CONFIDENTIAL TAI^K 

f\ generally free from the habit of self- abuse. 
If you are committing self-abuse and want 
to break the habit, then I tell you, my boy, 
keep all parts of your body clean. This leads 
me to speak of a very important thing as a 
help to purity. It is Bathing. I do not 
mean the weekly bath which most boys take, 
which is generally soap and warm water, but 
I mean a cold water bath, either in tub, 
shower or sponge form. I do not think 
there is any remedy a boy can take that 
will help him so much to keep from abusing 
himself as a cold water bath taken each 
morning and evening. If you cannot have 
a tub to take it in, by all means use a 
sponge. Such a bath can be taken in a very 
few moments. Be sure to apply the cold 
water in the middle of the back from the 
neck down, and also on the private parts. 
It will help every boy not only to be pure 
but healthy also, and I am sure you want 
to be both. 



WITH THE BOYS OF AMERICA. 1 7 

2. Another help is in regard to your 
Eating. Stop eating fancy pastry, such as 
pies, etc., also avoid eating pickles and all 
seasonings, such as pepper, mustard and 
sauces, and eat plain, simple food, at least 
until you have conquered this habit. You 
should also drink little or no coffee and 
tea, but in its place drink cocoa and lots 
of milk. You may think these things have 
little to do with the matter, and are hard to 
give up, but they have, and it is better to 
give them up than to run the risk of ruin- 
ing your body, and I am sure you will feel 
better for having made the change. 

3. Still another help is in regard to your 
sleeping. Take enough exercise during the 
day, in study, work and play, so that when 
bedtime comes you will be ready to go to 
sleep at once. If possible, get your parents 
to let you sleep alone, and not on a feather 
bed, but on a good hard mattress. Be care- 
ful to learn the habit, when sleeping, of 
keeping your hands away from the lower 



1 8 A CONFIDENTIAL TALK 

parts of the body. You can do this if you 
try. Also be careful, when you awake in 
the morning, to arise at once, and do not 
lie in bed, awake, thinking. This last sug- 
gestion is very important. 

4. Still another help is the choosing of 
' good co nip a n ions . 

{a) Books. Read good books. I have 
already warned you against obscene and im- 
pure papers and books. I now want to urge 
you to read all the good books you can. 
Read such books as treat of history and 
biography, and such authors as Miss L,. M. 
Alcott, Henty, Dickens and Scott, but 
avoid all stories that will kindle your im- 
agination, especially in a depraved and ex- 
cited way. 

(ti) Boys and girls. Every boy can 
choose his own companions. It is to your 
interest to choose the best boys and girls 
as companions that you can find. I speak 
of choosing girls as companions. Of course 
T understand that boys do not want to, and 



WITH THK BOYS OF AMERICA. 1 9 

I do not believe they should, make many 
close companions of girls, but I do believe 
that it is a good thing for boys to have 
girl friends, provided they are good, pure girls. 
Paul says,* " Evil communications corrupt 
good manners," and so if we choose evil 
companions our manners will become cor- 
rupt, and I have found it to be true that 
many boys are taught to commit self-abuse 
by their companions. Choose the best boys 
as your friends — boys that will help you 
to be pure and to do right, rather than 
boys who, having learned to be impure 
themselves, will endeavor to make you im- 
pure also. 

Just as I had finished writing the sen- 
tence above, I w r as interrupted by the ring- 
ing of the fire bell, and hearing that a large 
fire was in progress down town, I left my 
stucffT mounted my wheel, and was soon at 
the place w 7 here a large brick building w r a§ 

* I. Cor. xv : 33, 



20 A CONFIDENTIAL TALK 

in flames. While standing looking at the 
flames as they consumed the interior of the 
building, one of my boy friends rode up 
on his wheel, and we talked together about 
the fire. He was only thirteen, and a bright, 
intelligent boy, and as I noticed the great 
excitement caused by the fire, and the hard 
work which the firemen were doing in order 
to put out the fire and save the building 
of brick, I could but pray God that as much 
effort might be put forth to quench the fire 
of impurity that is burning up so many of 
our boys, and in so doing save the building 
of flesh and bones which has within it a 
human soul. After the fire was put out I 
met this same boy again, and we rode off 
together. Thinking it a good time to say 
a word that perhaps might put out the fire 
of impurity if it was burning within him, 
I spoke to him about self-abuse and its re- 
sults, and he then confessed to me that he 
had been taught to do it about a year be- 
fore by one of his father's hired men and 



WITH THE BOYS OF AMERICA. 21 

that he had been doing it ever since. He 
also said that he did not know what the 
results were, and when I told him as I have 
told you in this little book, he said that 
God helping him he would never do it again. 
O, my boy, is not this a warning to be careful 
to avoid the companionship of all who 
would lead you to be impure. God help 
you to choose the best companions. I asked 
the boy just referred to when it was that 
he w r as most tempted to commit this sin. 
He told me that it was when he did not 
have anything else to do, and this leads 
me to tell you that a great help against 
impurity is to be always busy with mind 
and muscle. Boys must have something to 
do, and it is when they are not doing some- 
thing which is right and good that they 
are tempted to be impure. Keep your 
mind active with pure thoughts and impure 
thoughts will find no room. 

5. Still another help is good exercise. I 
believe every boy ought to be an athlete, 



22 A CONFIDENTIAL TALK 

to some extent, at least. "Be what God 
intended you to be — a boy while boyhood 
lasts." Play baseball, football, tennis; run, 
jump, row, swim, and, in fact, take part in 
all kinds of games, and you will be freer 
from temptation to impurity for having done 
so. In the winter, when athletic games are 

r 

impossible, exercise by skating and coasting, 
and if possible, be a member of a Boys' 
Department of a Young Men's Christian 
Association, so that you can get gymnasium 
exercise. Exercise taken in a proper way is 
a thing that all boys ought to have. God 
never meant that a boy should be cooped 
up with his books all the time. Books 
are very good, but books without physi- 
cal exercise, are ruinous to boy life. I 
think that if you are careful not to do the 
things I have warned you against, and care- 
ful to to do the things I have suggested as 
helps against temptation that you w T ill be able 
to conquer this awful habit of self-abuse. 



^ - WITH THE BOYS OF AMERICA. 23 

V u 

Yet I have not spoken of 
THE GREATEST HELP 
a boy can have, and not only the greatest 
but the surest help to a life of purity. I 
refer to the purest among the pure — the 
man Christ Jesus. 

I want to tell you an experience of 
my own in regard to a habit which I learned 
when a boy of nine or ten, and which I 
kept for over six years, though I often tried 
to give it up, yet never did until I let Jesus 
help me. I refer to smoking. As I said, I 
learned when only about nine years old, and 
I well remember how father used to whip 
me when I was caught, and when, later 
on, he found that whipping did not have the 
desired effect of making me stop, he offered 
me prizes. I remember when I was about 
fifteen he offered to give me one hundred 
dollars if I would give up tobacco for one 
year. I made up my mind to do it and 
win the money, but the habit was so strong 
that I broke over, and of course did not 



24 A CONFIDENTIAL TALK 

get the money. A little later bicycles came 
into use among the boys of my acquaint- 
ance, and I asked father to buy me one, 
and he told me that if I would give up 
smoking for one year I might have a bicycle. 
I well remember how hard I tried. I threw 
away all the cigarettes I had, and deter- 
mined to get the bicycle, but with the 
same result as before — I failed. Father died 
not long after, and I still continued to 
smoke, but one Sunday I went into a Gos- 
pel meeting for men and boys and my heart 
was touched with the love of Christ, and 
I decided to be a Christian, and then the 
matter of smoking came to my mind and I 
asked myself the question, Can I smoke and 
be a good Christian ? and I knew that I 
ought to give up smoking forever, but then 
the failure of the past flashed into my mind. 
I was afraid I could not give it up. I 
thought a long while about it, and finally 
the words of Paul came to me :* "/ can do 

* Phil, iv : 13. 



WITH ¥HK BOYS OF AMERICA. 25 

all tilings through Christ which strengthened 

me." I wrote them on a slip of paper, 
and underneath I wrote: "I believe these 
words to be true, and believing them to 
be true, I will from this day with Jesus' 
help give up the use of tobacco ; ' ' and from 
that day to this I have never even wanted 
to smoke. 

I tell you this personal experience, my 
boy, because I want to point your thoughts 
toward Jesus as the greatest help a boy can 
have to save him from all sin. The name 
Jesus means Saviour, and if you have been 
or are committing self- abuse, I plead with 
you to ask Jesus to help you give it up. 
He is your friend, and he can and will help 
you. Remember that Jesus was absolutely 
pure when upon this earth, and that no 
man has been able to show that he ever 
sinned, and remember also that he wants 
you to be pure, and that he has promised 
that if you give your heart to him he will 
cleanse it and keep it clean. My dear boy, 



26 -A CONFKI^NTlAt *fAti£ 

will you not just now bow your head and 
ask him to help you be pure? 

I must now close this plain friendly 
talk with a few words as to 

YOUR DUTY IN RKGARD TO PURITY. 

i. Be absolutely pure yourself. You 
have often heard the words, "Practice what 
you preach . " I want you to be a preacher of 
purity, and so the first thing for you to do 
is to be pure, and this is of itself preaching. 

2. Then, again, I want you to think 
that in some sense, at least, you are your 
playmate's keeper. It is your duty as a 
boy who is pure and who understands the 
results of self-abuse to warn other boys. 
Not in the way which a boy told me a 
few days ago that he warned his little 
brother whom he caught practicing this 
habit, namely, by whipping him, but rather 
by sitting down and in a friendly, loving 
way explain what the results are, and if 
you have a copy of this book give it to 
him to read, and then pray God to help 



WITH THE BOYS OF AMERICA. 27 

him be pure. It is a grand thing to be 
of service to God by turning boys from 
sin to righteousness, and the blessed prom- 
ise is :* "They that be wise shall shine as 
the brightness of the firmament, and they 
that turn many to righteousness as the 
stars forever and ever." Do you not want 
to be a shining star in the kingdom of 
God? I am sure that you do, and so I 
I plead with you, first, to give your own 
heart to Jesus the Saviour of the world, 
and then, by the purity of your life and 
the activity of your service, win other boys 
from sin and Satan to righteousness and 
God. 

My little talk I close with the earnest 
prayer that Jesus, w r ho was once a boy, pure- 
minded and holy, — who so dearly loves the 
boys of to-day — will use it to the purifying 
of the boys of America and to the praise 
and glory of His name. 

* Daniel xii : *. 



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